In a 1998 article titled The Sad, Lonely World Discovered in Cyberspace, Ray Oldenburg accurately anticipated how digital life would lead to increased social isolation long before it became widely acknowledged. He warned that as people spent more time online, real-world community life would suffer. More than two decades later, his observations feel less like a prediction and more like a diagnosis.
Oldenburg wrote, “Virtual reality is a poor substitute for community,” noting that the internet often creates the illusion of connection while deepening isolation. Today, despite the proliferation of digital tools, social media platforms, and online communities, as well as 24/7 connectivity, people report record levels of loneliness. This mirrors what third places help to resolve; real, embodied spaces where people gather informally, without pressure, and with authenticity.
At Good NAtured, we believe third places are the remedy to this digital drift. Our space offers a tactile, sensory-rich alternative to scrolling and swiping. When you walk into our space, you’re not met with avatars or algorithm-driven feeds, but with human presence; genuine eye contact, shared laughter, and spontaneous conversations.
Oldenburg argued that modern life eroded opportunities for casual social contact, the very kind that once happened on front porches, in barbershops, and around diner counters. The internet, while convenient, only further displaced those interactions. What was lost was not just conversation, but the emotional safety and spontaneity that made those interactions valuable.
We see the impact of this every day. Newcomers to Good NAtured often arrive cautiously, unsure of how to engage without a screen as a buffer. But within minutes, something shifts. Someone offers them a drink suggestion or invites them into a card game or discussion. A facilitator welcomes them to try something new. In a society shaped by disconnection, these moments are quietly radical.
Third places like ours don’t compete with technology; instead, they reclaim the social needs that technology has left unmet. We create environments that feel slow, human-paced, and emotionally resonant. People don’t need Wi-Fi here to feel connected. They need presence, care, and space.
Oldenburg emphasized that “the most significant thing about cyberspace is not what it contains, but what it displaces.” When digital life replaces physical gathering, we lose the nuance of tone, gesture, and mutual understanding. At Good NAtured, we fight that displacement by making gathering sacred again.
We invite people to show up imperfectly. You don’t need to perform, filter, or curate your presence here. The simplicity of sitting in a circle, sharing a snack, or learning a new skill together is enough. That simplicity is what third places do best.
As we continue building a future rooted in real-life connection, Oldenburg’s 1998 piece serves as both a warning and a guidepost. If we want healthier communities, deeper friendships, and more resilient neighborhoods, we must keep investing in third places.
Because in a world saturated with digital noise, the gentle hum of people gathering is a sound worth protecting.
Much of modern life trains us to multitask, scroll endlessly, or chase productivity. But third places slow us down and reintroduce the human scale of connection. They’re not about efficiency, but about essence; being with others, face-to-face, without an agenda. That’s where healing happens.
[^6]: Oldenburg, R. (1998). The Sad, Lonely World Discovered in Cyberspace. Originally published in The Responsive Community, republished by Karen Christensen on Substack (2023). https://open.substack.com/pub/karenchristensen/p/sad-lonely-world-discovered-in-cyberspace-1998
About Good NAtured
Good NAtured is a community-centered, third place in Sioux Falls. Through workshops, events, and casual conversation, we offer a welcoming space where creativity, connection, and belonging come naturally.